Those grape vines came up trumps again and just informed Huff Towers that Thomas Byrne has finally been rejected by the people of Drogheda Borough Council and hot-footed it out of the Count Centre before the various politicos had a whiff of a chance to revel in his misery....
Just afterwards though as hoardes of simpletons gathered around Easons to buy Jade Goody’s hastily thrown-together memoir or “death-diary” as her husband Jack Tweed called it, the local politician and estate agent Tommy Byrne announced on West Street that he had “had enough of politics” and was exchanging monthly bitching sessions in the Council chambers for a career on the stage starring as PR Guru and genuine prick Max Clifford in the musical of the late Jade Goody’s life.
“Although I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my years in the Council and knowing everyone’s business, it is time for a change. And there are only so many times you can get fucked in the hole by Fianna Fail and still enjoy it. Basically, as an estate agent I’ve made a living out people being exploited in the housing market - now that the arse has fallen out of that, I think I can bring that experience elsewhere. Max Clifford is a parasite and makes a living out of exploiting people. I could bring a lot to that role,” Byrne said.
The musical, titled “Jade Goody – Real Life Cash Cow” will be shown in the Arts Centre from the beginning of August.
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