Drogheda Borough Council passed a motion this week to erect a statue to one of the town’s famous daughters – Kerry Katona. Local mouthpiece and Councillor Frank Godfrey defended the decision to erect the statue when faced with criticism that Ms. Katona was not actually from Drogheda.
“Contrary to popular belief,” said Godfrey, “there is no evidence to state that Kerry is from Drogheda, but also, there is no evidence to say that she is not. I met her once when she was staying in a caravan in Clogherhead which proves she has local roots.”
A leaked memo from the Useless Monument Committee has shown that the Katona statue is being placed on the banks of the Boyne alongside Socks Byrne in order to use money that was granted to them by the Council which will be redeemed if not used by a certain date.
Local Carlisle Utd. and Ireland international soccer player Ian Harte is the only remotely well-known figure from Drogheda to not have had a ridiculous amount of money spent on constructing an unnecessary statue of him and he is said to be “absolutely fucking sick” over it.
“I don’t know why they won’t put up a statue of me, I did loads for the town,” Harte said. Mr. Godfrey said in his defence that the people of Drogheda were still as “bitter as cats piss” over Harte’s disastrous performance in the 2002 World Cup which he blamed on having sore toes and that if there was going to be a frivolous waste of money on any statue “it certainly wouldn’t be of Ian fucking Harte”.
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